Have you ever attended a seminar on say...the benefits of homeopathy as opposed to alopathy and the talk was good. You didn't sleep through it, but there was some point that the lady mentioned and you have a question about it...It bothered you through her entire speech and now you want to ask her that question..
You're now repeating that question in your head, framing and re framing it, wondering how people will react to it..."is it too silly?...hmm...maybe it's silly...but..no....i shouldn't say anything"...and while you walk out of that auditorium, that doubt pricks the back of your head so hard, and you end up feeling quite ridiculous. If your motivated enough, you will probably get home and google it.
The point i'm trying to drive here is... we're scared of asking questions because there will always be a few who will judge it, and then judge you. Or snigger - "hah, he doesn't even know that! where did he grow up?!"
Adults go through this, and children go through this all the time. If amongst a class of 15 really smart students there is one who is a slow learner...god help that poor kid. Sometimes even teachers make remarks such as, "don't ask silly questions, read the text book!"
I ask a lot of questions and many are extremely "silly" according to others. I think it's totally fine, as long as i'm clearing my doubts. I have been judged, laughed at...not that i feel bad...not anymore at least.
I ask a lot of questions and many are extremely "silly" according to others. I think it's totally fine, as long as i'm clearing my doubts. I have been judged, laughed at...not that i feel bad...not anymore at least.
So, this question is for you.
Are you a person who welcomes questions? Do you have the patience and the humility to listen and respond to questions without making a face?.
According to me, no matter what the content is, questioning is brave.
Isn't this a cultural thing? We are brought up to respect our elders - essentially includes parents and teachers - and that respect includes the aspect of not questioning anything but accepting the age old wisdom with a nodding head (albeit with an internally confused mind ;)). I do not remember even once in my schooling days of ever having asked even one question that was probing enough or questioned an accepted fact. It was only much later when I started with my job and on interactions with westerners, realized that questioning anything and everything is an expectation that they have from me! I have always believed that our poor record of innovation in India is because of this fundamental deficit that is created early on in our life. And it is reflected in everything we do in our careers and personal lives since there is only that much that can be corrected as we grow up.
ReplyDeleteAt a personal level, I encourage my team and colleagues to barrage me with questions because not only does it bring clarity in their minds but also does the same in my mind too :) Around me,the people who I admire either for their leadership or for the quality of their work, one common trait that stands out is their ability to ask a zillion questions (and yes some of them sound really silly but when you hear the answer you are always glad you did not make a silly assumption about the answer!) and in turn be receptive to answer an equal amount of questions thrown at them.
We will be better off as a nation, the day we stop treating questions as a threat to our ego and beliefs and welcome them as a means of making better decisions.
I could not agree more, especially with the last line! well said.
DeleteI don't know enough about how things work abroad, not much interaction, especially on that level.
Though i think it could partly be a cultural thing also. "answering back" as its called here.
And I should have added, enjoyed your writing. Please continue to blog and ask questions :)
DeleteVery well written! Keep it up Phhuch!
ReplyDeleteThank you Bhutu dee :) :) The positive reinforcement is really appreciated! :)
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